Library

Taking a concubine without cause is by no means a good thing. All instances of marital discord and family ruin often stem from this. It is advisable to avoid it whenever possible, as this is also a key task in managing the household. However, if the wife is advanced in age and frail, and having no offspring is considered the greatest misfortune, then circumstances may necessitate taking a concubine. Nevertheless, while taking a concubine is easy, keeping one harmoniously is difficult. If there is no proper method for maintaining the relationship, one will have the name of a concubine but not the reality, which is essentially equivalent to not having one at all. The methods for maintaining a concubine involve both interpersonal dynamics and living arrangements. Regarding interpersonal dynamics, when the principal wife encounters the concubine, it is rarely out of willingness or joy. Consequently, she may often display anger or verbal abuse, scold the concubine regarding daily routines due to trivial matters, or use harsh words and expressions. These are inevitable reactions according to common human nature. However, one fails to realize that childbirth depends on blood and qi (vital energy), which in turn depend on emotional state. If emotions are not smooth, the Chong and Ren vessels (two of the eight extraordinary meridians governing reproduction) will not be充盈 (full/supplied). If the Chong and Ren vessels are not supplied, conception cannot occur. Thus, even if a concubine is taken, what benefit does it truly bring? This is why one should not be overly strict in dealing with a concubine. Regarding living arrangements, it is ideal for the concubine's quarters to be quiet, distant, and kept away from the eyes and ears of others. During intimate encounters, the initiative lies with the man, while the reception lies with the woman. Both the initiative and reception depend on qi. At such times, focus causes qi to gather and advance directly; fear causes qi to become deficient and unable to sustain itself. This is the critical factor determining whether conception occurs. The source of courage or timidity lies in the mind: where the mind goes, the qi follows; if the mind harbors doubt or fear, the qi does not arrive; if the mind is absent, the qi is also absent. If startled by sounds during the act, the qi remains in the ears and does not reach the genital organs; if suspicious of sights, the qi remains in the eyes and does not reach the genital organs; if angry or fearful, the qi becomes knotted in the heart and does not reach the genital organs. If qi does not arrive, it is like throwing a stone into water—the water remains unaware. Just as in battle, reconnaissance by spies is most detested; how can one bear slander that drives apart a united heart? The dynamics of the inner chambers are no different from military strategy. This is why the concubine's residence must be quiet and distant. Although these measures are designed for those who resort to such strategies out of necessity, if there is a wise and virtuous wife who reflects upon these words, prioritizing the continuation of the ancestral line, she would not only refrain from jealousy but also show compassion. In such a case, closer proximity would be more comforting, making the advice to keep distance seem contrary to human affection. Furthermore, if the husband is respectful and diligent, carefully managing the household, he would consider himself fortunate to be accepted and would dare not entertain thoughts of distancing himself while maintaining respect. Such being the case, I do not know what else to say.