孔子曰∶父母之年不可不知。圣言所包自广,若必待亲终,然后尽于大事,亦非圣贤之意。
君子曰∶曾元养小体。曾子岂安养小?或因贫富丰俭之不同,或偶因珍奇之一事。
人子父母之奉,不在富奢,虽一橘亦可奉亲。故谚曰∶人能以爱子之心爱亲,孝矣。若
非理之奉,亦不为孝。
古人有对客烹鸡,已而供母者,今人却不能然。
父母之言或有差错,人子不可对人质正,待后言之。如不害事,亦不必言。
凡百家事,人子必须与亲商榷,然后行之,庶免乖忤。若亲意坚执,小有未善,亦当勉从。
父母贤明,自是均一。或有所偏向,财帛不均,为子者必自解,曰∶此财帛父母之物也。
若初不有此,奈何?有或遇水火盗贼失去,又将奈何?其不才之子,必怨对其亲,或至终身不
相见者有之,尚得谓之人子乎?何其卑弱之甚也。
人各有所偏,偏处最明,善道君亲者,必自明处傍引正之。人子谏亲,知其必不肯从,必浓
结亲之挚友,或所亲信之人,于其不意之中解之,必致其情。
老人火衰必自多寒,又不胜衣,当以熟绢软布为之,所套花绵,年换新者。
父母送终之具,五十以后即当渐备,常以夏月为惧。
春时遇天气顿暖,不可顿减绵衣。缘老人气弱骨疏,风冷易伤,才透春时,但多令夹衣,
遇暖之时,一重重渐减,即不致暴伤也。
老不耐风,非不耐风也,只当调气尔;少不耐劳,非不耐劳也,只当调脾尔。
六十忌入房户,所以辅衰,故重性命也。
人年五十以上皆常大便不利,或成苦下痢。有斯二疾常须预防。若秘涩则宜数食葵菜等滑
物,如其下痢宜与姜韭温热之菜。老人于四时之中常宜温食,不得轻之。
养老之要,耳无妄听,口无妄言,身无妄动,心无妄念,此皆有益于老人也。又当爱心,
每有诵念,无令耳闻,此为要妙耳。
老人之道,常念善,无念恶;常念生,无念杀;常念信,无念欺。无作博戏,强用气力,
无举重,无疾行,
无喜怒;无极视,无极听;无大用意,无大思虎;无吁嗟,无叫唤;无歌啸,无啼泣;无悲愁,
无哀恸;无庆吊,无接对宾客。能如此者,可无至病,长寿斯必也。
老人常避大风、大雨、大寒、大暑、大雾、霜、霰、雪、旋风、恶气,能不触冒者,是
大吉祥也。
老人所居之室,必须大周密,无致风隙也。
老人须知服食将息,调身按摩,摇动肢节,导引行气,不得对面杀生,以奉养也。
Confucius said, "The age of one's parents must not be unknown." The words of the sage encompass a broad scope; if one must wait until after the parents' death to fulfill filial piety only through major funeral affairs, this does not align with the intent of the sages.
A gentleman remarked: Zeng Yuan (Zengzi's son) attended only to the physical needs of his parents. Did Zengzi merely accept such superficial care? It may be due to differences in wealth and frugality, or perhaps because of a specific precious item.
Children's service to their parents does not lie in luxury or wealth; even a single orange can be offered to them. Thus, the proverb says, "If a person loves their parents with the same heart they use to love their children, that is filial piety." However, service that is not reasonable or proper does not constitute filial piety.
In ancient times, there were cases where a chicken was cooked for guests and then served to the mother; people today cannot do this.
If parents speak incorrectly, children should not argue or correct them face-to-face but should wait and explain later. If it does not affect the matter at hand, there is no need to mention it.
For all family matters, children must consult with their parents before acting, so as to avoid going against their wishes. If parents are insistent, even if their decision is slightly flawed, children should reluctantly comply.
If parents are wise and clear-minded, they will naturally treat everyone equally. Or if they show bias and distribute property unevenly, the children should comfort themselves by saying, "This property belongs to the parents." What could be done if they had never possessed it? What if it were lost to fire, water, or thieves? Those unworthy children who complain about their parents, or even refuse to see them for life, how can they still be called children? How base and weak is this behavior!
Everyone has biases, and these biases are most obvious. Those good at guiding rulers and parents will clarify things from the perspective the parents understand and gently guide them toward the right path. When children advise parents and know they will not listen, they should deeply engage the parents' close friends or trusted confidants to intervene unexpectedly and express sincere feelings.
Elderly people have declining fire energy (Yang Qi) and thus feel cold easily; they also cannot bear heavy clothing. Clothes should be made of soft, finished silk or cloth, filled with cotton that is replaced annually.
Items for funeral arrangements should be gradually prepared after age fifty, often with anxiety during summer months.
In spring, when the weather warms suddenly, one should not abruptly reduce cotton clothing. Because elderly people have weak Qi and loose bones, wind and cold easily injure them. Just past spring, one should wear more layered garments, reducing them layer by layer when warm, to avoid sudden injury from cold.
The elderly are intolerant of wind, not because they truly cannot tolerate wind, but because they need to regulate their Qi; young people are intolerant of fatigue, not because they truly cannot endure labor, but because they need to regulate their Spleen.
At sixty, sexual intercourse is taboo to support the weakening body, thus valuing life essence.
People over fifty often suffer from constipation or painful dysentery. These two ailments require constant prevention. For constipation, eating slippery foods like Malva verticillata leaves is suitable; for dysentery, warming vegetables like ginger and leeks are appropriate. Elderly people should generally consume warm food throughout the four seasons and should not neglect this.
The key to caring for the elderly is: ears should not listen to useless talk, mouth should not speak useless words, body should not move uselessly, and mind should not harbor useless thoughts. All these benefit the elderly. One should also cherish life; whenever prayers or recitations occur, ensure the elderly do not hear them. This is the subtle essence.
The way of caring for the elderly involves constantly thinking of goodness, not evil; thinking of life, not killing; thinking of trust, not deception. Do not gamble, force strength, lift heavy objects, walk quickly, experience extreme joy or anger; do not strain eyes or ears; do not exert excessive mental effort or worry excessively; do not sigh or shout; do not sing loudly or weep bitterly; do not grieve or mourn deeply; do not attend celebrations or funerals, nor receive guests. Those who can act thus will likely avoid illness and surely achieve longevity.
The elderly should frequently avoid strong winds, heavy rain, extreme cold, extreme heat, thick fog, frost, sleet, snow, whirlwinds, and foul air. Avoiding contact with these is great auspiciousness.
The rooms where the elderly live must be spacious and tight-sealed, preventing any drafts.
The elderly must understand dietary regulation and rest, adjust the body through massage, shake limbs and joints, practice Daoyin (guiding and pulling) to circulate Qi, and must not kill living creatures in front of them, as part of their nurturing regimen.